Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
