I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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