You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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