It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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