you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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