Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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