I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
