I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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