we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
