I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
