VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
