I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize