??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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