The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
