I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
she smelled like a LAN party
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
