p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
