its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
