everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
