Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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