Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize