Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Randomize
