She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
