I cannot find my penis.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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