she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
