So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
whose ass print is on the piano?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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