I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Mom said you looked used
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
