Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
