i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
