Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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