Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Less talking, more tequila
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
