It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
