it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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