they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize