Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
ttyl tear gas
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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