dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
