Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
