no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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