You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
