Got a toothbrush?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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