Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
