I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
