Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I have feelings that need drinking.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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