Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
