just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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