just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
