I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
