she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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