Dual....:-)
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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