my mouth tastes like poor choices
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
