my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
