So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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