office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
