Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
