yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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