Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
