You smell like a Billy Joel song
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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