It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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