Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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