..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
