I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
So vagazzling was a success
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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