You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
