walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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