Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
