I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
