So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's shark week go big or go home
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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