Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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